Sunday, July 1, 2012

Dancing in the light of Gods

We came to each other in the Garden,
He held me until you arrived,
You wiped off the tear and you held me so dear,
From that day it was clear,
You would always be near,
Not near in the sense of this illusion,
Near in the sense of the lack of confusion,
Near in the ether,
Near in the garden,
Of my heart.

You never knew it was I,
You always thought it was her.
She was in the living, breathing likeness,
That only you knew inside,
You were so sure,
You were never meant to know it was I.
She was my Cyrano,
She was my angel,
Covering up so that I could admire you blissfully,
Watching you and loving you as you grew
Then came the day that you sensed the truth,
Your eyes became open and your heart became golden,
The diamond of you was shining so bright.

In the Garden,
We danced around the tree of life,
You, her and I,
We grinned and giggled as we twirled,
Off in our other world,
I touched your cheek softly when you slept,
I hugged you deeply when you wept.
We've danced in the light of Gods,
We've never danced in the light of Men,
We may never, but I will always remember,
The last dance is the one that lasts forever.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Poetry of We


I would like to explain the poetry of we.
I am not a harsh strict voice unless you cannot see thee,
I am more of a whispering touch,
A loving embrace that is needed so much.
You will not break me by calling me out,
You will not win in your fight to show doubt,
I am steadfast and true to my soul and to you,
You may not see it but it shows in all I do.
My heart is a tender open bud,
Let me in so I can show you my love,
Let me sweetly and calmly run my silky touch,
Through your soul and let me show you I love you so much.
You won’t be alone,
I won’t allow it,
You won’t be a quitter,
It isn’t your destiny,
You are here for a reason,
That reason is clear,
You are here to bring more to others.
I digress from my poem about my loving touch,
I digress from the meaning that means to us so much.
Remember, you are me, and I am you.
I can feel what you feel too.
Don’t let the little things that mean so little,
Rule you and make you brittle.
Don’t let the temporary flares,
Catch you unawares,
So you show your despairs,
And break out of your airs.
Keep your air,
Keep your sweet flare,
Show no despair,
Walk away debonair.
The touch light as air that we can bring to each other,
Sister, mother, friend and brother.
Teaching someone compassion is tough,
You have to explain to them that your life isn’t enough,
That you give it all, including your life,
To help them walk away from the strife.
I give you my all, every time we are near
Because I do understand it is clear,
I am you, You are me, we are we..
We will be free.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Bled Out

The bloody mess I’ve made of my life,
The pouring of the blood out of my life,
The soft and tender draining as I feel it slip away,
Bled out,
Blood on my sheets,
Washing and striving to cleanse it,
Clearing and restarting,
Wiping and soaking,
Crying and screaming,
Pain and dissolution,
Tossing and Turning,
As a soft quietness unfolds,
Stillness as acceptance washes in,
And I am bled out,
Slowly the life leaves me,
As I lie there and think,
Will the sheets be dry soon?

Friday, June 15, 2012

HelloRoss.com: Yoga person.

HelloRoss.com: Yoga person.: I did yoga for the 4th time ever tonight, blog buddies.  And, you know what?  I'm kinda into it.  Yes, the stretched-out-loosey-goosey way y...

Monday, May 28, 2012

Swinging

I am soaring over the crowds in a burlesque show,
High above all; swinging on my swing.
I remember the fascination the first time I saw one of those at a restaurant in Houston.
I remember wondering what it would be like to be one of those beautiful ladies,
In their fancy clothes,
Just swinging above the crowds,
No one talks to the lady on the swing,
She just swings eloquently back and forth,
Smiling and swinging, swinging and smiling,
Standing and dipping,
Twirling and flipping.
Sometimes singing…
Who thought of this?
Why?
It’s lovely.
I remember it, and I know I did it before.
Let me tear back the veil by swinging high above the crowds,
Let me be naked to the world floating high above the clouds,
Let me stand, swing and shine,
For all eternity.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Poetic Monthly Radio Speech on Toastmasters International

My radio speech regarding Toastmasters International. Enjoy!
Listen to internet radio with Poetic Monthly on Blog Talk Radio

Monday, May 21, 2012

I'm Fine, Alright, Good...



One of the hardest things I am trying to understand which comes up over and over are some of the men (and occasionally a few women) I encounter in my life. They are very closed off and very hard to get to know. They say, "I'm fine". They say, "I'm alright".

They don't talk, they don't emote, they don't express. They bottle it all up inside them self and I have to go fishing/digging for it. And, sometimes when I dig. They cry out or they get angry. I just don't understand it.

What lesson am I trying to learn here? Maybe to be silent and not reach out? I don't believe that is it. I just don't know. Maybe it is to let go of them and let them figure it out on their own. I do let go of that part of me that takes offense to it.

I am reminded of what Luke 6:32 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them." I just really don't understand it. The one thing I don't like about Luke 6:32, we are ALL SINNERS..oh my gosh. Who can ever be considered a Saint. We all have our burdens to bear. Still, it's so unfathomable to me to not be able to get stuff out. What happens to people who bottle all that crap inside for years and years? My goodness.

My heart does go out to them. I love and feel them. So torn, so unable to just say what is going on. I want to reach out..I want to wrangle it out of them. But, I know I have to sit back and be patient and just love them.

At least maybe finding ways for them to express it..sports, activities, art, etc. Any insights from anyone would be so helpful to me right now. I just keep coming across this same stoic pattern and I want to learn. Very much, I need to learn.

HELP! I am putting this out there to the universe. Show me blatantly what it is that I can do because I am not doing something right.. and I need to get this right. I really do.

I know the answer is right around the next corner but I want to get this lesson straight now.

Thank you Universe for your help on this one.
My version of 1 Corinthians 13:
I am patient,
I am kind,
I do not envy,
I do not boast,
I am not proud.
I am not rude,
I am not self seeking,
I am not easily angered.
I keep no records of wrongs.
I do not delight in evil but rejoice with truth.
I always protect,
I always trust,
I always hope,
I always Persevere.
I never fail.
I am Love.
How can I be love if I cannot love the ones who do not love me. I will love them anyway. Unconditionally and see in them always the greatness that they are. And, carry them in my heart like I am carried in God's heart.
That way, when the end comes, they will be where they are supposed to be because of me.
Or, maybe I will be where I am supposed to be because of them?

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I Shall Not Want

I don’t want to meet you now.
I don’t want you to see me anymore.
I don’t want to look into your eyes and see the blankness,
Dull indifference.
Not knowing who you are,
Who I am.
I will never meet you now.
I know that you will never see me for who I am.

I am me with snot running down my face
Tears creating swollen eyes
Makeup does little to hide
Covering up the lies.

Lying on the cold wet floor weeping
Screaming at me
My self doubt
Telling me I will
Never be clean enough
Never be thin enough
Never be brave enough
Never be good enough
Never be real enough
Never be rich enough
Never do enough
I am never enough.
I never was enough
For any one.
For no one.

For me,
I have to be enough,
I am every one.

Friday, May 4, 2012

The Rabbit and The Crow

One day a crow was getting food and it noticed a little rabbit sitting over to the side and watching it. The crow said, "What are you looking at, get out of here you filthy little rabbit, and leave me alone!". The rabbit just sat there and looked and looked. Every day when the crow would come down to get food on the ground there was that rabbit. The crow would cuss and snort and bicker but the rabbit would just stare and stare.

Finally after months of this, the little rabbit came up and got closer. The crow would go into his rant about getting out of here and leaving him alone. The rabbit finally said in a tiny little voice, "You are so beautiful, thank you for letting me watch you every day. Your feathers are so sleek and black. You fly so beautifully and I admire you so much." The crow just caffawed and laughed at the little rabbit and made fun of him and told him to "get out of here". He would go back to the other crows and they would laugh and laugh and laugh at the stupid little rabbit.

The rabbit was not deterred. He would come every day and watch the crow and he would just admire him. Finally after about a year the rabbit came up to the crow again and said, "Thank you for letting me watch you every day. You see, my parents died in a terrible run in with a lawn mower and I have no one. I watch you every day and I feel hope and excitement for the future and for my life. Thank you." The crow barely even listened..he just caffawed and cursed the little rabbit. He went back to his nest and talked about the stupid little creature.

After a while the rabbit would get so brave. It would come up and sit beside the crow. Finally, the crow got tired of caffawing and cursing the rabbit. He would come down and get his food, completely ignore the rabbit and then move on.

One day, the crow was getting food and he grabbed a really big piece and flew off. He dropped a little piece of the food on the road. The rabbit went out to the road to get the piece of food. He was going to save it because he loved the crow so much. Right then a lady in a hurry to get to work came along and she ran over the little rabbit. The crow looked back and saw what happened. He didn't pay much mind to it and just really thought that finally he wouldn't be bothered by the little nuisance.

The crow came back to get his food to the same spot and felt like something was missing. He then remembered the little rabbit and what had happened. He got his food but he felt so awkward. He kept coming back and he finally realized he missed the little guy. Then he remembered all the angry words he used and how he cussed and spat and caffawed at the rabbit. He felt a tinge of regret. He started feeling really funny. When the other crows would laugh and tell the stories about the rabbit, the crow became strangely silent.

One day he realized that he would have to go to find another place to get food because he realized that he loved that little rabbit. He remembered how the rabbit had told him that his mother and father had died. He felt such a sadness in his heart that at the time he couldn't see to be kinder and love the little rabbit. He was filled with regret that covered his heart.

He knew he could never make up for the way he treated the rabbit but he realized he would never make fun of or hurt anyone else again. He didn't know that he would ever feel this way and he was thankful for the change in his heart.

Finally, at a new spot one day a new baby bunny came over and started watching him. He looked up with a smile and said, "Hello little bunny, it is good to see you. I hope you are well, how is your day?" .... and the little baby bunny and the big black crow became solid, fast friends.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Transparency


I take the pictures to know that I am there..
I noticed that a couple of them,
I can see right through me.
Am I really there?
Am I here?
Am I anywhere?
Was I ever?
Maybe it was all an illusion.
When did I become there?
When did my soul leave my body?
I know it did, I know it’s gone…
Sometimes in the night,
I reach into my sight,
And see that I am gone,
Lost and forlorn,
Not unhappy,
Just far from me,
Far from the world,
Not touching,
Not seeking,
Just hiding, in this box with the fake air blowing the fake cool around,
So little is left,
So little inside,
And now I must go back outside,
To run and hide,
To do my duty,
To help those that are still here but not too.
Why do we look up to the sky and see it as real?
Why do we think that the hunger will be filled by these vagaries?
(Top Picture Courtesy of Rosella Pearl - http://www.facebook.com/averycoveredinviolet and https://www.facebook.com/RosellaPearl)Special thanks to Rosella for capturing this moment with my dear friend Mark James...

Monday, April 30, 2012

Calendar In Time

Money stuffed in time,
Rob Peter to pay Paul,
Brother can you spare a dime?
Money for May, Maybe?
Money for Mom, yes?
We whore ourselves out for it,
We date ourselves a date for it,
We play around with it,
Avarice for the novice,
How to learn to be you.
I’d rather drown in a dirty shoe.
The calendar holds your whole world right now.
It holds nothing for me.
And nothing is what I want to be.
Better to be in the back of the continuum,
Than to be swimming in a sea of numb.
I am alive,
I feel things,
I understand now.
How bout that, you big cow!
You wouldn’t find it if you tried,
It is tied up in the calendar and flowing nowhere,
Just like you!
Me, I flow freely through the months.
Timeless, as always, you cannot date me.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Love Canal


Floating along the Love Canal,
The winter crisp creating icicles,
Brittle snaps of coldness.
Journey through Love Canal.
Hearing the stories,
Imagining the love built
then the dreaded seeping of the sludge.

For it always seeps through,
Intentions good but the mercurial mediocrity
takes us for granted.

Through the rock and cold seeps
the ugly cancer dripping with
it's formidible intent.


There is always the deep foreboding
in the recesses of our mind.
Fencing in of hearts
to preclude the ultimate
awakening of the Love Canal.

So not unlike our human condition,
Trained to reach for the dream,
clenching it so tightly
that it seeps like wet mud through our fingers.
Earth swallowing our best intentions.
Reminding us who's really steering the boat down
Love Canal.


In the basement of our youth is where it begins,
Eroding away our lives as we grope, play and learn to love.
Creating hopeful hearts,
Building a wonderful dream,
Holding so tightly
as to watch the absorption begin
as the walls of our foundation slowly fill up
behind the veil.

Eventually it fills like the wet sponge and spills
when pressure and liquidity reaches its max.
It oozes from our walls and flow onto our floor.
Straining to return to the Love Canal.

I always felt it when I was there,
The wonder at how the love embraced my being.
Unexpected and intense in its intimacy
flowing deep into the crevices of my soul.

I never knew that one day I would learn what it was.
Why it was
How it chose me.

A glittering display
of light shining.
So bright and so cold.
The reflections create
a brilliance like a galaxy of stars
brought down for me to touch.
Dip my hands in the water as it flows
Feeling the cold and dissipating the stars
in the Love Canal.

Now, I float freely in the river
the love and sludge slide me along the Love Canal.

Friday, March 2, 2012

The Secrets of the Universe in two words

Two Words: Earth & Heart
Eh,
He,
Ear,
Hear,
Earth,
Heart

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Sky full of lighters Speech for Toastmasters


FIRE

Force
Ignition
Re-evaluation
And ENERGIZE!

FORCE
Yoda said “The force be with you”. I believe that each of us is like fire. Deep in our soul is a light that cannot be extinguished. Sometimes this light dims as we get involved with our lives, get caught up in unproductive endeavors or just ignore our inner flame, living for someone else and not our own hopes and dreams. Remember when you were younger and had a dream? Maybe it was to be a teacher or to play a sport and then suddenly life came along and off you went in another direction. Like the winds blow the fire around (and sometimes OUT!) so does our flame get diverted away from our aspirations.

I am asking you to become the Force in your life and put the FIRE back in it. If we want this world to change we have to do as Michael Jackson says and take a look at the “Man in the Mirror”.

Force yourself to take a look at your inner light. Is it burning strong? Are you going in the direction you want to go in your life? I, personally, have taken this journey and have learned that I was not going where I wanted to with my life and I took the initiative to change. You are never too old to change if you still take a breath every day.

IGNITE
Which leads me to IGNITION. Ignite yourself. And no, this doesn’t mean pour gasoline on yourself and set yourself on FIRE. You are needed in this world, please don’t do that! How DO you ignite yourself? First, take a look at your life. Do you watch too much television, get impatient with your children, ignore your spouse, get angry with your parents, put off doing things that you know will help you? Ignite your heart to help you change the things that are important to you. You do not have to live in anger, jealousy, hate, negativity or feel like your choices control you and not that you control your choices! A lot of these negative drafts are created because we are living in a box. I say burn the box!

Light up your personal desires and needs. Take a look around. You cannot see in a dark room without a light. You cannot open up a dark life without putting it out into the light.

One example of this is when my sister first moved to Louisville we had spent many years being “phone” sisters. I lived in DC and she lived in California. When she moved here we did not get along as well. I realized after we spent almost two years not talking that we couldn’t “fix” it by ourselves. I knew that having my sister was more important than being “right”. So, I called her up and asked her to meet me for a dinner. We talked and I told her that I loved her and that I really wanted to have a relationship. I told her that if she would be willing we could go to therapy to learn how to interact as sisters. She agreed to go. We met and were able to figure out a way that we could live and enjoy each other as sisters. So, ANYTHING can be changed, if you set your mind to how you want it to be and work toward it, it’s YOUR choice.

RE-EVALUATE
Choices mean Re-evaluation! Re-evaluate your life. What would you like to do? Lose weight, eat healthy, write, play an instrument, read poetry, have better relationships with family and friends, find your true life partner, learn a new language, get your degree, help others? It’s never too late. Taking charge of what you want to do empowers you and makes your light stronger! I personally have made many changes in my life in the last 5 years. I stopped watching television regularly, lost 100 lbs, I am “almost” vegetarian, and I write! I left an unhealthy relationship, I exercise more and volunteer more. When I first started, I meditated a lot on this and one of the things that kept coming to me was, “Beverly, you don’t have to do it all in a day”. Lao-tzu says a 1,000 mile journey must begin with the first step. I believe this and have taken my first step, now I have the momentum and fuel. My flame burns brighter. It just makes me want to be better every day. It is a hard journey on the path less travelled because you really have to look at yourself and say, Okay, I am failing here, I am failing there and I am not afraid to see that I need improvement here or need improvement there. Michael Jordan said, "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." You can only just keep DOING, keep burning. Through failure, we can learn to succeed.

ENERGIZE
Success, means to ENERGIZE! Small steps, write down goals and work toward them. If you want to start volunteering, sign up for something. If you want to stop watching hours of television, limit yourself. Anything you do that doesn’t work toward your goal, you can change.

Energize means take action! If you are “bored” with coming home every night and watching television, playing video games or surfing the internet. Just do something different at first you can start by changing just 5 minutes a night. Or, sign up for that volunteer project. Go do something you always have seen yourself doing before you forgot that you had to make the choice to do it! Once you are energized the universe will bring to you all the things you desire. Happiness, health, wealth, whatever it is you seek. Because you are choosing to Energize and feed your fire!

FIRE -

In 1991, Former President George HW Bush said, “A thousand points of light”. Yes, we are a thousand points of light. Won’t you join me in igniting your fire and living like we were meant to live! If just one person listening to this or reading this is ignited and inspired to change, I will have succeeded.

Let me be the kindling to light your Fire and may the Force in you ignite many more too!
We are all a FIRE works in progress… 


Sunday, January 29, 2012

Feel No Anvil

Will the gates of hell open up?
I just need them to open
So I can walk in to save you,
What I don't know won't hurt me,
Actually Hell will save me
Yay, though I walk in the alley and shadow of breath
I feel no anvil,
You comfort me. .

Friday, January 27, 2012

Thursday, January 26, 2012

A GEM

"A wonderful realization will be the day you realize that you are unique in all the world. There is nothing that is an accident. You are a special combination for a purpose - and don't let them tell you otherwise, even if they tell you that purpose is an illusion. (Live an illusion if you have to).
You are that combination so that you can do what is essential for you to do. Don't ever believe that you have nothing to contribute. The world is an incredible unfulfilled tapestry. And only you can fulfill that tiny space that is yours." ~Leo Buscaglia

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Pretty Little Branch

You are such a beautiful strong tree.
I am a branch on your tree
I flow gracefully in the wind,
I am attached to the most beautiful tree on earth.
We are happy.

The winds come along and they are brisk,
The winds pick up and storms come;
I break off from you,
I am terrified.

I am on the ground,
Someone comes along and picks me up,
I nestle with other fallen pieces of you,
I am fire for a moment
The fire hurts as I burn.

I am smoke
Billowing up through a dark tunnel.
I am in the air
Flowing along gracefully again
I am the wind
Caressing your beautiful branches.
We are happy.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Fiddler




You are the fiddler of strings,
You know how to pluck each chord
Making beautiful music
Your music sings and reaches me
You are the fiddler of strings
You play the music
That pulls at my heart.

You are the fiddler of strings
You know the music that makes my heart sing
You are the fiddler of strings
You pull at my heart.

You are the fiddler of strings
You are able to make perfect music
You are the fiddler of strings
You are in my heart.

(Image - Random Internet Find)

Questions and Answers

Does the water cry when it goes down my throat?
No, it rejoices in the replenishing and fulfillment of my body.

Does the chicken cry out as it is being slaughtered?
No, it has no voice to cry out. We are its voice.

Does the chicken feel joy in the replenishment of my body?
Yes, in nature and No, in life.
What we do, how we treat that which sustains is how we treat ourselves.

Does the disregard we have for all beside our own affect us?
Yes, in life and No, in nature.

Does this question you in wrong or right?
Maybe, it's a gray area.

How do we bless that which gives of itself for the benefit of our life?
Have we seen all that blesses us and show are reverence back to it?
How do we honor this?
Am I? Are You?
All I can do is try and awaken.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Brother Fire



Forgive me Brother Fire,
As I move away from you,
I have to go and write down these words
Before they are gone too:

Brother Fire misses us,
We, the humans, we’re his friends
He needed us and we needed him.
We now are away,
Not many coming to sit ‘round,
Brother Fire, I am here,
His pleasure is found.

Brother Fire, Let me tend to you,
I want to feed you, Care for you,
Make you strong,

In return, you provide me warmth and lick my skin,
Your touch sometimes too much, and I have to move away,
But you know and I know, I am here to stay.
Brother Fire, I don’t understand why many others have gone,
They do not realize that the love from you is so warm.
Brother Fire talks to me and tells me about the olden days,
When all humans would sit around while he would blaze.
Brother fire tells me my future while I sleep,
Nestled on a pillow lying at his warm feet.
He tells me that all I ever wanted is mine,
That all this is from the great divine.
He knows that he is not left behind.
But a few more friends would suit him just fine.

I stir, and he smiles,
I pick up my stick,
I poke him and prod him and he gets thick.
He snaps as he moves, he pops as I feed him,
He loves my gentle touch and he knows that I need him.
His embers are kisses, his flames are his beauty,
He keeps me the warmest, his honor and duty.
He told me to tell everyone hello,
He asked me to ask you, “Where did you go?”
You sit in front of your blueness and stare and stare,
Until there is nothing left here or there,
He wonders, “Don’t you get cold in your underwear?”