Monday, May 28, 2012


I am soaring over the crowds in a burlesque show,
High above all; swinging on my swing.
I remember the fascination the first time I saw one of those at a restaurant in Houston.
I remember wondering what it would be like to be one of those beautiful ladies,
In their fancy clothes,
Just swinging above the crowds,
No one talks to the lady on the swing,
She just swings eloquently back and forth,
Smiling and swinging, swinging and smiling,
Standing and dipping,
Twirling and flipping.
Sometimes singing…
Who thought of this?
It’s lovely.
I remember it, and I know I did it before.
Let me tear back the veil by swinging high above the crowds,
Let me be naked to the world floating high above the clouds,
Let me stand, swing and shine,
For all eternity.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Poetic Monthly Radio Speech on Toastmasters International

My radio speech regarding Toastmasters International. Enjoy!
Listen to internet radio with Poetic Monthly on Blog Talk Radio

Monday, May 21, 2012

I'm Fine, Alright, Good...

One of the hardest things I am trying to understand which comes up over and over are some of the men (and occasionally a few women) I encounter in my life. They are very closed off and very hard to get to know. They say, "I'm fine". They say, "I'm alright".

They don't talk, they don't emote, they don't express. They bottle it all up inside them self and I have to go fishing/digging for it. And, sometimes when I dig. They cry out or they get angry. I just don't understand it.

What lesson am I trying to learn here? Maybe to be silent and not reach out? I don't believe that is it. I just don't know. Maybe it is to let go of them and let them figure it out on their own. I do let go of that part of me that takes offense to it.

I am reminded of what Luke 6:32 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them." I just really don't understand it. The one thing I don't like about Luke 6:32, we are ALL SINNERS..oh my gosh. Who can ever be considered a Saint. We all have our burdens to bear. Still, it's so unfathomable to me to not be able to get stuff out. What happens to people who bottle all that crap inside for years and years? My goodness.

My heart does go out to them. I love and feel them. So torn, so unable to just say what is going on. I want to reach out..I want to wrangle it out of them. But, I know I have to sit back and be patient and just love them.

At least maybe finding ways for them to express it..sports, activities, art, etc. Any insights from anyone would be so helpful to me right now. I just keep coming across this same stoic pattern and I want to learn. Very much, I need to learn.

HELP! I am putting this out there to the universe. Show me blatantly what it is that I can do because I am not doing something right.. and I need to get this right. I really do.

I know the answer is right around the next corner but I want to get this lesson straight now.

Thank you Universe for your help on this one.
My version of 1 Corinthians 13:
I am patient,
I am kind,
I do not envy,
I do not boast,
I am not proud.
I am not rude,
I am not self seeking,
I am not easily angered.
I keep no records of wrongs.
I do not delight in evil but rejoice with truth.
I always protect,
I always trust,
I always hope,
I always Persevere.
I never fail.
I am Love.
How can I be love if I cannot love the ones who do not love me. I will love them anyway. Unconditionally and see in them always the greatness that they are. And, carry them in my heart like I am carried in God's heart.
That way, when the end comes, they will be where they are supposed to be because of me.
Or, maybe I will be where I am supposed to be because of them?

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I Shall Not Want

I don’t want to meet you now.
I don’t want you to see me anymore.
I don’t want to look into your eyes and see the blankness,
Dull indifference.
Not knowing who you are,
Who I am.
I will never meet you now.
I know that you will never see me for who I am.

I am me with snot running down my face
Tears creating swollen eyes
Makeup does little to hide
Covering up the lies.

Lying on the cold wet floor weeping
Screaming at me
My self doubt
Telling me I will
Never be clean enough
Never be thin enough
Never be brave enough
Never be good enough
Never be real enough
Never be rich enough
Never do enough
I am never enough.
I never was enough
For any one.
For no one.

For me,
I have to be enough,
I am every one.

Friday, May 4, 2012

The Rabbit and The Crow

One day a crow was getting food and it noticed a little rabbit sitting over to the side and watching it. The crow said, "What are you looking at, get out of here you filthy little rabbit, and leave me alone!". The rabbit just sat there and looked and looked. Every day when the crow would come down to get food on the ground there was that rabbit. The crow would cuss and snort and bicker but the rabbit would just stare and stare.

Finally after months of this, the little rabbit came up and got closer. The crow would go into his rant about getting out of here and leaving him alone. The rabbit finally said in a tiny little voice, "You are so beautiful, thank you for letting me watch you every day. Your feathers are so sleek and black. You fly so beautifully and I admire you so much." The crow just caffawed and laughed at the little rabbit and made fun of him and told him to "get out of here". He would go back to the other crows and they would laugh and laugh and laugh at the stupid little rabbit.

The rabbit was not deterred. He would come every day and watch the crow and he would just admire him. Finally after about a year the rabbit came up to the crow again and said, "Thank you for letting me watch you every day. You see, my parents died in a terrible run in with a lawn mower and I have no one. I watch you every day and I feel hope and excitement for the future and for my life. Thank you." The crow barely even listened..he just caffawed and cursed the little rabbit. He went back to his nest and talked about the stupid little creature.

After a while the rabbit would get so brave. It would come up and sit beside the crow. Finally, the crow got tired of caffawing and cursing the rabbit. He would come down and get his food, completely ignore the rabbit and then move on.

One day, the crow was getting food and he grabbed a really big piece and flew off. He dropped a little piece of the food on the road. The rabbit went out to the road to get the piece of food. He was going to save it because he loved the crow so much. Right then a lady in a hurry to get to work came along and she ran over the little rabbit. The crow looked back and saw what happened. He didn't pay much mind to it and just really thought that finally he wouldn't be bothered by the little nuisance.

The crow came back to get his food to the same spot and felt like something was missing. He then remembered the little rabbit and what had happened. He got his food but he felt so awkward. He kept coming back and he finally realized he missed the little guy. Then he remembered all the angry words he used and how he cussed and spat and caffawed at the rabbit. He felt a tinge of regret. He started feeling really funny. When the other crows would laugh and tell the stories about the rabbit, the crow became strangely silent.

One day he realized that he would have to go to find another place to get food because he realized that he loved that little rabbit. He remembered how the rabbit had told him that his mother and father had died. He felt such a sadness in his heart that at the time he couldn't see to be kinder and love the little rabbit. He was filled with regret that covered his heart.

He knew he could never make up for the way he treated the rabbit but he realized he would never make fun of or hurt anyone else again. He didn't know that he would ever feel this way and he was thankful for the change in his heart.

Finally, at a new spot one day a new baby bunny came over and started watching him. He looked up with a smile and said, "Hello little bunny, it is good to see you. I hope you are well, how is your day?" .... and the little baby bunny and the big black crow became solid, fast friends.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


I take the pictures to know that I am there..
I noticed that a couple of them,
I can see right through me.
Am I really there?
Am I here?
Am I anywhere?
Was I ever?
Maybe it was all an illusion.
When did I become there?
When did my soul leave my body?
I know it did, I know it’s gone…
Sometimes in the night,
I reach into my sight,
And see that I am gone,
Lost and forlorn,
Not unhappy,
Just far from me,
Far from the world,
Not touching,
Not seeking,
Just hiding, in this box with the fake air blowing the fake cool around,
So little is left,
So little inside,
And now I must go back outside,
To run and hide,
To do my duty,
To help those that are still here but not too.
Why do we look up to the sky and see it as real?
Why do we think that the hunger will be filled by these vagaries?
(Top Picture Courtesy of Rosella Pearl - and thanks to Rosella for capturing this moment with my dear friend Mark James...