Monday, May 21, 2012

I'm Fine, Alright, Good...

One of the hardest things I am trying to understand which comes up over and over are some of the men (and occasionally a few women) I encounter in my life. They are very closed off and very hard to get to know. They say, "I'm fine". They say, "I'm alright".

They don't talk, they don't emote, they don't express. They bottle it all up inside them self and I have to go fishing/digging for it. And, sometimes when I dig. They cry out or they get angry. I just don't understand it.

What lesson am I trying to learn here? Maybe to be silent and not reach out? I don't believe that is it. I just don't know. Maybe it is to let go of them and let them figure it out on their own. I do let go of that part of me that takes offense to it.

I am reminded of what Luke 6:32 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them." I just really don't understand it. The one thing I don't like about Luke 6:32, we are ALL SINNERS..oh my gosh. Who can ever be considered a Saint. We all have our burdens to bear. Still, it's so unfathomable to me to not be able to get stuff out. What happens to people who bottle all that crap inside for years and years? My goodness.

My heart does go out to them. I love and feel them. So torn, so unable to just say what is going on. I want to reach out..I want to wrangle it out of them. But, I know I have to sit back and be patient and just love them.

At least maybe finding ways for them to express it..sports, activities, art, etc. Any insights from anyone would be so helpful to me right now. I just keep coming across this same stoic pattern and I want to learn. Very much, I need to learn.

HELP! I am putting this out there to the universe. Show me blatantly what it is that I can do because I am not doing something right.. and I need to get this right. I really do.

I know the answer is right around the next corner but I want to get this lesson straight now.

Thank you Universe for your help on this one.
My version of 1 Corinthians 13:
I am patient,
I am kind,
I do not envy,
I do not boast,
I am not proud.
I am not rude,
I am not self seeking,
I am not easily angered.
I keep no records of wrongs.
I do not delight in evil but rejoice with truth.
I always protect,
I always trust,
I always hope,
I always Persevere.
I never fail.
I am Love.
How can I be love if I cannot love the ones who do not love me. I will love them anyway. Unconditionally and see in them always the greatness that they are. And, carry them in my heart like I am carried in God's heart.
That way, when the end comes, they will be where they are supposed to be because of me.
Or, maybe I will be where I am supposed to be because of them?
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